Gay4Grunge: Soundgarden

Of all the major Grunge bands, Soundgarden has been the slowest burn for me. Despite their success in the 90s, Soundgarden's music can be very intimidating for new listeners. The main reason being that Soundgarden makes the most complex music out of all the Grunge bands. Soundgarden’s use of time signatures alone sets them apart from most of their peers. While Soundgarden got better and better at writing sharper melodies, their music still feels uncommercial in a lot of ways. Chris Cornell is usually called the greatest vocalist of Grunge due to his amazing range, but that range can be quite grating to some listeners in much the same way Mariah Carey's vocals can grate on some people despite their vocals being technically astounding. I will say living with Soundgarden's music for the past 20 years, I slowly but surely came around to most of their albums but it took a lot of patience for me. At the same time, with the exception of Spoonman and a few singles off Down on the Upside, I actually prefer Soundgarden's deep cuts over their singles. 

I'm getting ahead of myself though, so let's start at the beginning and once again Beavis & Butthead acted as my introduction to Soundgarden. The music video of course was Black Hole Sun and it definitely left an impression on me. Now even though Beavis & Butthead would be my introduction to many Alternative Rock bands I would come to love later, I usually wasn't as interested in the music video portions of the show, but Black Hole Sun was different. As everyone who's seen the music video knows, Black Hole Sun is truly one of the most uniquely memorable music videos ever made, especially in the 90s. The video depicts this bizarrely warped picture of the suburbs, where everyone's eyes are too big and their smiles are too wide. Then the Black Hole Sun shows up and sucks up every last person in this suburb leaving complete death and destruction in its wake. I always remembered Soundgarden and that song because of how many times I saw that video on Beavis & Butthead. 

 For years, Black Hole Sun was the only Soundgarden song I really knew. That said, I know some other Soundgarden songs started trickling through such as Outshined and Rusty Cage, but I didn't really pay any attention to Soundgarden until 2002, which at this point everyone knows is the year I became a Grunge fanatic thanks to Stone Temple Pilots. Still of the big Seattle 4, Soundgarden were definitely at the bottom of the list for me when I was first getting into Grunge. I remember I had a mix CD made by a friend and I wanted Black Hole Sun on there because I knew it was a Grunge essential, but I also foolishly thought that it would be the only Soundgarden song I needed! Meanwhile I was starting to work my way through Pearl Jam, Nirvana and Alice in Chains' albums and greatest hits throughout the rest of 2002. 

In the fall of 2002, I watched VH1's Behind the Music for 1992 & 1994, which is where I heard more Soundgarden songs, including Spoonman which I liked instantly. So then I started looking up Soundgarden a bit more and saw they had a Greatest Hits called The A-Sides and I picked up a used copy of that album in the fall. I remember not liking any of the earlier songs until Outshined and then I liked everything up until Ty Cobb. Spoonman was definitely my favorite at that point though I was drawn to Burden In my Hand thanks to its melody and Pretty Noose thanks to its psychedelic nature. Overall, I enjoyed the singles from 1992-1996 though I only loved 2 or 3 of those songs, but as I made my timeline mixtapes for 90s Alternative, I began including most of those Soundgarden singles to those mixes. Still, once again I foolishly thought the A-Sides would be all I'd need from Soundgarden going forward and it would be for about a year & a half.

I'm not sure what instigated it, but I decided I needed to check out Soundgarden's 1994 album Superunknown around the spring of 2004. That was during my senior year of high school and once a week I tutored a girl from the elementary school. As a gift from her mom, I got a gift card to Strawberries music, since it was obvious, I loved music. I remember using that Strawberries gift card on Superunknown, Journey's Greatest Hits and the TV soundtrack to the X-Files. I remember telling her mom what I got with that gift card and they were surprised by the eclectic randomness of my purchases, which is just how I roll. It's called a Dougystyle Transition and if you know then you know. 

Listening to Superunknown for the first time I was struck by how much I loved the various deep cuts more than any of the singles (Except for Spoonman). This is where I really started to appreciate the talent and musicianship within Soundgarden since I really got to hear them doing some pretty wild stuff. I also found that I was really drawn to whenever Soundgarden leaned into slow psychedelic sludge on tracks like Mailman, Limo Driver, Head Down and 4th of July. It was on those Soundgarden songs that I really started to get Soundgarden and what they were all about. It also started the trend of me discovering how much I love the group's various deep tracks more than a lot of their singles. These deep cuts are really what separated Soundgarden from all of their peers as they were exploring the marriage of heavy metal and psychedelia in ways few bands have ever done or ever will for that matter. 

Superunknown quickly became one of my favorite albums of the 90s and soon I decided to buy the group's 1996 album Down on the Upside, since it was the follow-up to Superunknown and I liked the singles already thanks to the A-Sides. I remember I bought that CD the day of the Super Bowl, which I skipped because I wanted to listen to Soundgarden. Well that turned out to be the Superbowl with the wardrobe malfunction so I guess I skipped the wrong one but oh well. It's not like I didn't see that wardrobe malfunction over and over again afterwards anyway. Back to Down on the Upside, I will say I didn't love the entire album like I had with Superunknown and it was much more of a slow burn again. Overall, the first half of the album grabbed me more than the back half initially. I really liked Rhinosaur A LOT and I also liked Dusty and Zero Chance and those were all within the first 4 tracks on the album. It would take me years before I started finding songs I really liked in the back half of Down on the Upside. 

After getting Superunknown and Down on the Upside that spring, I didn't listen to any other Soundgarden albums for a few years. In 2004 I started my college years at Ithaca College and that is where I started writing reviews for The Ithacan, which is the school newspaper, and I started DJing with the school's internet radio station VIC. As I've mentioned before the name Dougystyle came when I was brainstorming DJ names. Sophomore year I ended up having my own radio show called Alternagold where I played mostly 90s Alternative. I ran the show by myself for that entire year and even though it was on Saturday Night I always loved doing it. Towards the end of my sophomore year, I met someone named Josh at the school paper. I have mentioned Josh in passing in previous articles on Gay4Grunge and probably a few older articles as well, but I think now is the time to talk about my friendship with Josh in more detail. 

So, one day while I was hanging out at the offices of The Ithacan, I struck up a conversation with someone I had seen at all the Ithacan meetings that year and that person turned out to be Josh. I can't remember what article/review I was submitting that week, but it had to be related to Alternative Rock because Josh and I started talking about Alternative Rock, especially the 90s, with bands like Live, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden and more. All of a sudden, I was talking with someone who seemed to be just as passionate about this genre of music as I was and from that point forward, we became good friends. I was also planning to study abroad in London for my second semester Junior year and I wanted someone to take over my show while I was gone as well as have a co-host for the show when I was hosting it. So, before you know it Josh became not just my friend, but my co-host for Alternagold. We started hanging out and talking about music and recommending music to one another. I probably pushed more music on him than he did on me, but some of it was for the show as well, since I wanted him to be more familiar with acts like The Screaming Trees and Blur, who I played frequently on Alternagold. 

Hanging out with Josh it quickly became apparent that he was a big Chris Cornell fan. He not only loved Soundgarden, but he also loved Audioslave and he even followed Chris's solo career too. Chris Cornell was definitely his favorite vocalist of 90s Grunge and he knew a bit more of Soundgarden's music than I did. In fact, he made me copies of Badmotorfinger and Louder Than Love and he made me copies of some of Chris's solo albums as well. Those copies of Loud Than Love and Badmotorfinger were how I first heard those albums and I ripped them all to my iTunes and for years that was how I listened to those albums and songs off of those albums until I upgraded to Spotify Premium in 2017. Even still it was a slow burn for me getting into either of those albums, especially since Badmotorfinger felt like the most daunting of all their albums, since this was Soundgarden at their most metal and most complex. It honestly wouldn't be until after college that I would really get into Badmotorfinger deeply. 

Now let's jump ahead to 2007. The early part of the year I studied abroad in London and then that summer I ended up living in New York City because I was an intern for a syndicated radio program called The Ryan & Caroline Show. I lived in a dorm that summer, but it was a dorm meant for 5 people with super high ceilings so I was living in a pretty nice apartment looking out on the city. Josh came to visit me a few times while I was living in  New York City. I already mentioned in my Collective Soul article that we both went to see Collective Soul and Live in a small club in Times Square. We also went to see Chris Cornell at a solo show, which was right after Audioslave had broken up. At the time Chris Cornell was promoting a new solo album called Carry On and it also included his James Bond theme to Casino Royale with You Know My Name, which is the last bond theme I actually love. I'm sure saying that will be controversial, especially among the gays, but it's honestly the last bond theme I listen to with any sort of regularity. 

As for the solo show, Josh was the one who was really pushing for us to go. Now I wasn't against going, but I also didn't know what to expect from a Chris Cornell solo show. I figured he'd perform a lot of songs off his solo album and maybe do a couple of classic songs. As it turns out Chris' solo show ended up being a greatest hits setlist that spanned his entire career! We got all the big hits for Soundgarden/Audioslave/Temple of the Dog and of course some solo stuff. Honestly it was an amazing show with a perfect setlist. It's also the show where my appreciation for Jesus Christ Pose finally happened because hearing Chris do that song live was UNREAL! His live vocals on Jesus Christ Pose were out of this world and it really helped me appreciate why Chris is considered by many to be the best vocalist in Grunge. At that same show, Chris brought out his kids who were both very young at that point so they both had noise cancelling headphones on. Chris' son, who looked like he could barely walk, came out on stage and headbanged a little with his dad and it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Of course, knowing what came 10 years later makes those memories of Chris with his kids more heartbreaking in retrospect, but let's not go there just yet. 

I graduated college in May of 2008, which was just in time for the recession of 2008. I still worked full time at Marriott luckily, but I was living at home paying off my student debt and reading lots of Batman comics. During this time, I really started delving deeper into Badmotorfinger, and tracks like Mind Riot and Room a Thousand Years Wide were now becoming personal favorites of mine. In 2010 I moved to Washington DC, first to live with my brother and then later my whole family moved down to DC and we all lived together for a couple years. In 2011 it was announced that Soundgarden was reuniting and they were also going to tour and one of their first shows was going to be in the DC area. By 2011 not only was I a bigger Soundgarden fan, but my brother was also a big Soundgarden fan now too, so we both really wanted to go to this show. Plus knowing our chances of seeing these legendary Grunge bands live was numbered so we got tickets as soon as they went on sale. 

I know the concert was over the summer of 2011, because it was around the time, I applied for a job at the Courtyard Marriott. I remember getting the call for the job right after my brother and I sat down in our seats for the concert and I was told I got the job. Soundgarden didn't have an opener for that concert so we didn't have to wait long for Soundgarden to take the stage. Once Soundgarden came on stage and started the show, I was blown away by them. Now I've seen many concerts in my day, but there are only a few bands where I'm in awe of every single band member to the point that I don't know who to look at throughout the entire concert. I felt this way about seeing Porcupine Tree in London in 2007, seeing Jane's Addiction with their original lineup in 2009 and with Soundgarden at that 2011 show. Chris, Kim, Matt and Ben are all masters of their craft and you realize how integral each member is to Soundgarden once you see them live. In fact, it was really interesting to see Matt Cameron drum for Soundgarden after seeing him drum for Pearl Jam twice. When Matt is with Pearl Jam his drumming feels second nature as if he could play it with his eyes closed. This is not a knock against Pearl Jam mind you, but their music is decidedly less complex and grueling compared to Soundgarden, because Matt's drumming for Soundgarden is a whole other beast. You could literally see Matt sweating to keep up with the rest of the band and he was definitely pushing himself to the max from beginning to end on that Soundgarden show. 

Soundgarden performed the hits and they did lots of great deep cuts too, especially off Superunknown with songs like 4th of July, Mailman and Like Suicide.  It really was everything I wanted the show to be. After that I delved back into Badmotorfinger and was listening to it more and more. By the mid-00s, I was listening to Pandora a lot and I had made a Grunge station for it. I was also listening to Grunge FM on Big R Radio too so obviously a lot of Soundgarden was played on both. Those two stations got me into even more Soundgarden deep cuts like Tight & Tighter and Searching with My Good Eye Closed. Soundgarden also put out their first album in 16 years with 2012's King Animal, which I listened to very quickly after it was released. Overall, I think King Animal is a solid comeback album for Soundgarden. While it's not as strong as their three 90s albums, I'd say I like King Animal more than the group's 80s albums and EPs. About half of King Animal made it into regular Dougystyle rotation meaning I added half of the songs off that album to my Grunge & Alternative Rock playlists on iTunes and later on Spotify. Overall, I give King Animal a B+, which is not bad for a band that had not been in the studio together for 16 years. 

By 2014 Soundgarden came back to DC, but this time for the DC101 Chili Cookoff, which was an annual event that the rock radio station held every year, which featured a lineup of bands all day plus free chili that you could vote on. I will say I was probably more excited to see Silversun Pickups at this show since I had not seen them live yet and they had quickly become my favorite modern rock band since 2009. Still, I definitely wanted to see Soundgarden live again and I was looking forward to their set. By that point the sun was going down and my husband was getting cold and he didn't bring a jacket. He kept complaining about the weather and wanting to go home, but I wanted to see Soundgarden. I told him we were going to stay until at least Spoonman was played. Spoonman eventually was played and after that we left. I told my husband he was lucky that I had seen Soundgarden live before, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have left as early as we did. Little did I know that that concert would be the last time I ever saw Soundgarden live. 

In 2015 Chris Cornell released the song Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart, which became one of his biggest solo hits, at least on rock radio. DC 101 played that song a lot, more than anything off Soundgarden's King Animal for sure. Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart also came out around the time Scott Weiland died and maybe that's why I was focusing on death, but I thought to myself if this is Chris's last solo hit it would be a solid goodbye from him as an artist. Little did I know that it would be Chris' last hit before he died. 

Much like Scott Weiland's death, I woke up to Chris Cornell's death and I'm pretty sure Josh was the first person to text me about it. While I wasn't a wreck like I was when Scott had passed in 2015, I was still very sad about it. Once again, another Grunge icon tragically died before their time. While death has always shrouded the Seattle Grunge scene, most people figured Chris Cornell would be around until his golden years. Like Scott, Chris had also been active in music consistently since the 80s. Between Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Audioslave and his solo career, Chris was always releasing new music and it was easy to think that he always would be, but unfortunately that proved to not be the case. Unlike Scott and Layne, Chris's death wasn't declared an OD, instead it was a suicide, where he hung himself in his hotel room after performing with Soundgarden earlier that night. I think Chris's suicide was more shocking to people since Chris had a family to think of and he was still successfully navigating his music career. That's the thing about depression though, it doesn't care if you have a good family and a successful career, it can still make you doubt yourself and feel like you are worth nothing. When you get so depressed sometimes you feel like everyone you know and love will be better off without you even if that is not the case at all.

I remember Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin’ Park and the lead single of Stone Temple Pilots for a couple of years, being extremely upset about Chris' death and him posting about it online. A few months later Chester would also take his own life as well. It just felt like more and more death was shrouding Grunge and Alternative Rock by that point and it was very depressing to watch, especially for someone like me who is so invested in this music. For me the moment where I cried was listening to Temple of the Dog's Times of Trouble. That song is about Andrew Wood succumbing to his own demons and dying and Chris pleading with Andrew to hang on because these times of trouble won't last forever. On that listen though all I could hear was Chris also not making it past his own troubles and succumbing to his own demons. Plus, I was dealing with a concussion relapse at the time too so now that song was operating on multiple levels of Trouble and that's when I started crying. 

I will say that Chris seemed more beloved than Scott Weiland, because I saw a lot more coverage for his death by major news outlets. A lot more musicians, celebrities & music industry insiders came forward as well sharing their memories of Chris. Whenever anyone talked about Chris, they had nothing but good things to say about him. Chris seemed to always take the time for other people and make them feel noticed. Chris seemed like a gentle spirit in the body of rock god and people truly felt sad after he passed away. I remember Josh sending me something a gay fan wrote after Chris's death. That fan said that when Audioslave put out their single Be Yourself in 2005, he was in high school and deeply in the closet. Hearing that song though gave him the comfort and courage to be himself and he'll always treasure that song for those reasons alone. I definitely was touched by that as well and I think about it every time I hear Be Yourself now. 

I of course made a Chris Cornell playlist on Spotify and listened to it constantly right after his death, which is around the time I upgraded to Spotify Premium. In the years since 2017 I've been listening to Soundgarden more and more to the point that they were among my top 5 most streamed acts on Spotify for 2021. My love for the group has only increased as the years go on. Initially Soundgarden were in 4th place for me when it came to the Big 4 of Seattle Grunge, but now I'd put them at 3rd ahead of Nirvana and who knows they could be coming for Pearl Jam next. For the past 20 years I've slowly but steadily become a bigger and bigger fan of Soundgarden and if that trend holds, I'll continue liking them more and more in the 20 years to come.