Gay Marriage Goes Pop With Cub Sport
By the time 2019 began I was fully immersed in Queer music. I was following Billboard Pride by this point on social media hoping they would help me discover another great Queer act and in January I had my next great gay pop discovery when Cub Sport was their artist of the month.
Cub Sport is an Australian synth pop band who have been putting out music since 2013 but I had never heard of them until I read this article. What really struck me was not only were most of the members gay except the drummer Dan, but that Tim and Sam were married and their bassist Zoe was gay and also engaged! As the article states there really is no precedent for this in pop music. We've had some gay pop stars, and we have had bands with couples like Abba, Fleetwood Mac and Arcade Fire, but we've never had a band that features a gay married couple that also sings about their relationship! As a married gay man myself this was another mind blowing discovery. All of a sudden there was now music by a gay married couple who could reflect my own experiences as a married gay man.
The article went on to explain that for years Tim and Sam put their feelings aside for one another and decided to not pursue a romantic relationship but over time they finally came out and renewed their relationship. Yet as Tim says in the interview coming out wasn't just admitting he was gay but also learning to be more comfortable with himself and the parts of him that he had suppressed for so long. He wrote about this experience in the song Come Out. In the article Tim says:
"Once I realized there was so much more to me that I was hiding, other than just my sexuality, I realized that society has a pretty specific idea of what’s normal and what you should believe and should do. For me, that song is about coming out as your whole self, not just one part of you, and learning to embrace everything and be proud of it.”
Like the Trove Sivan interview and the Growing Up Gay with Olly Alexander documentary this really struck me because it once again reinforced my recent realization that I was still clinging to internalized shame and that society had influenced my behavior and way of thinking about what is normal for so long without me noticing it. This influence on my behavior and how I viewed myself actually did me a lot of harm in the long run. The fact that this band was still working through that and as Tim said becoming their real selves more and more each day really made me connect with them before I heard a single song.
Of course, as soon as I could I started listening to their music. I was pleasantly surprised to hear how atmospheric their music was. Whether it's intentional or not Cub Sport's music seems to be influenced by Chillwave. Chillwave was a genre that emerged at the end of the 00s. Like early 90s Shoegaze it has very muffled vocals, atmospheric production and hints of psychedelia. The difference between the 2 genres though is that Chillwave replaced the distorted guitars of Shoegaze for synthesizers that made the music more pop than Shoegaze. Cub Sport seems to subscribe to this because while Tim's vocals are more audible than most Chillwave acts, he still sings softly and the washes of synths and heavy atmosphere in Cub Sport's music really does remind me of Chillwave acts like Washed Out, Toro Y Moi, Neon Indian and Small Black. I had binged through the Chillwave acts the year prior and had joined many groups on Facebook for Shoegaze and Chillwave so the fact that Cub Sport seemed influenced by that genre helped me connect to their music rather quickly.
Soon I started posting about Cub Sport on Twitter and Cub Sport immediately responded to my posts with likes and comments! Going through their Twitter feed it became obvious that Cub Sport was very engaged with their fans on social media. When it comes to social media it does seem that some bands respond quickly to everything and some don't. Of course, the bigger the act the harder it is for them to keep up with all the fans posting about them on social media. Cub Sport is still relatively unknown here in the U.S. but they were becoming an arena act in their homeland of Australia. So the fact that Cub Sport was able to respond to all their fans on social media showed how dedicated and available they were to their fans.
They would prove this again when they toured the U.S. and set up a temporary phone number for fans in the U.S. to text them. They invited their U.S. fans to text them song requests, pet pictures and vegan restaurant recommendations among other things. At this point I had purchased tickets to see them live at the Songbyrd in D.C. so you better believe I was going to text them. This was my initial text message to Cub Sport:
"Hello! This is Doug(ystyle) from Twitter. My husband and I along with some friends are coming to see you in D.C. at the end of May. I am so excited! You will be my 5th gay pop concert after seeing Troye Sivan with Kim Petras, Years and Years, MNEK and Myylo. Ever since August when I discovered Troye I have been gay pop's biggest fan. In my 22 years of a being a music addict it's the best thing to happen to music in my lifetime. It's honestly made my life better and given me more confidence as a gay man and I am so grateful for that. For the first time in my life I feel like I have role models. Even though most of the gay pop stars are younger than me I honestly look up to them including you guys. You all have helped me find my true self again and shed the shame that has plagued me for years. It's been such a blessing. So for that reason I am most looking forward to hearing Come Out which beautifully captures the long and emotional process coming out is. My Husband's favorite song is Paradise which he loves. So those are my requests. Also here's a photo of us on our wedding day which is 5 years ago. We have been together for 10 years though. Here's to gay marriage!"
This was Cub Sport's response:
"Hey Doug! Wow thank you so much for your beautiful message! That’s so special ️️️️ can’t wait to see y’all in DC ."
Just the fact that Cub Sport had created this space for their U.S. fans to communicate with them and share their thoughts with them was a really beautiful gesture on Cub Sport's part. When I shared this with other people they were blown away by it because most pop stars don't communicate this directly with their fans! While no other act I know of has set up a temporary cell phone for fans to text them while on tour it does seem to be a growing trend with this wave of LGBTQ acts to be more connected with their fans online and in concert. I think there's a few reasons for this. One is that most gay pop stars are also huge music fans and yet they remember what it's like to have no real role models growing up and to feel like they were always on the outside looking in. These Queer acts understand the platform they are now being given and how important it is for their fans to see LGBTQ visibility. Sometimes taking a moment to respond back to a fan who is queer and may be struggling means the world to that fan.
Yet at the same time the fans empower the musicians too who have become more and more comfortable expressing their queerness on stage due to the fan support. Gay Pop is a 2 street of empowerment for both the fans and musicians and Cub Sport understands this completely. At the same time most of these new queer musicians also grew up in the social media and streaming age. They understand that it's more important sometimes to build up your fan base online then through traditional media outlets because that's where the kids are these days. Discovering you on YouTube and being able to chat with you briefly on Twitter is how these kids become fans of your band. More so than you playing Saturday Night Live or even being on the radio. Cub Sports music, queerness, social media presence and connection with their fans is something that would not have been possible over a decade ago.
I ended up texting Cub Sport again asking if there was any kind of meet and greet before or after the concert. They responded back saying if we hung out a bit afterwards, we would be able to meet them. Eventually, the big day arrived for the Cub Sport concert. It was at a bar where the stage was downstairs. It was just as intimate a venue as Union Stage was which is where I saw MNEK live which was not surprising since both venues have the same owners. While eating at the bar I saw members of Cub Sport just coming and going which was pretty cool. I also saw Tim and Sam holding hands when they went outside which melted my heart.
The concert was a very intimate affair. I was only 10 feet away from the stage. I was able to get great photos and video of the band, especially Tim who wore a leather outfit that showed off all the tattoos on his body. The show started with just Tim singing acapella and it gave me goosebumps. His voice was so beautiful and full of emotion. From there the band joined in and captivated the audience for the rest of the time they were on stage. Tim discussed his marriage with Sam and how it was better to live their truth and love one another instead of living in fear. To hear them talk so openly and honestly about their relationship on stage and then sing about one another to each other on stage was something I never thought I would experience in my lifetime. Like all the gay pop concerts I had been to thus far it was an emotional experience.
After the show I bought a T-shirt from Dan & Zoe at the merchandise table and my friend Will complimented Zoe's suit that she wore on stage. Then we hung around while the room emptied out and Cub Sport was putting away their equipment. I finally worked up the nerve and went up to the stage and complimented Sam on the concert and said it was my 5th gay pop show in a row. Right after I said that Tim looked up from packing the equipment and asked if I was Doug. Once I confirmed that yes I was in fact Doug, Tim said it was really lovely to finally meet me. I introduced Sam and Tim to my husband Cory. I also told them that I introduced their music to people on the Years & Years Facebook group and that 2 of them were going to see them when they performed in London in October. I could tell they were touched by this when I told them that. Then we took a picture together that I like to call the 4 gay husbands. Unfortunately, the flash was not on but through some tweaking on my phone I was able to lighten up the picture and salvage it!
Still it was a great night overall and one I'll never forget. It's rare to see an act you love that up close and personal and to have them know who you are before you even attend the concert. I ended up texting them the next day to thank them for a wonderful evening. This is what I texted:
"Thank you again for taking the time to speak to me and take the photo with my husband Cory! You didn't have to do that but I really appreciate it. I have the picture hanging up in my office next to my picture with Myylo the last gay pop act I saw live. Good luck with the rest of the tour and enjoy pride month which starts this weekend. Thank you again and the concert was wonderful! So on that note take care and remember to stay fabulous honey!"
And like last time they responded in kind:
"Aw amazing!! It was really lovely meeting you, thanks so much again for coming along ."
Like the Myylo show I was able to make a connection with the musicians that night and I feel incredibly blessed to have had that opportunity. I look forward to seeing Cub Sport again, hearing new music and especially just seeing Sam and Tim happy and married, living the life they always dreamed of for so long.
To end where we began in the Billboard Pride article Tim states that while they are pop stars, they are a new kind of pop star that will hopefully create a space for more people like them in music as well as inspire others to live their truth and love who they want. Cub Sport practices what they preach and their music is undoubtedly changing lives. I know this because before I talked to Sam and Tim there were 2 girls in front of me who told them that their music helped them realize the love they have for another and to not hide it anymore. Cub Sport isn't just giving queer people visibility they are giving queer relationships and queer love visibility and representation. Through their music, videos, interviews and performances Cub Sport is normalizing same sex relationships and same sex marriage in a way no other pop act before them ever has. For that alone I can't thank them enough but I sure will try!
