Growing Up With Yavin
Yavin is an openly gay artist from Boston Mass who describes himself as a 23 year old with the face of a 13 year old and the voice of a 33 year old and I think that sums him up perfectly! Yavin's music is very introspective but a lot of his presence and presentation online and on stage is a little more colorful and quirky than some of his music would lead you to believe.
I stumbled upon Yavin some time during the summer of 2019. I know I saw his name being thrown around on Twitter before I had even heard his music. A few people I was following already, who were a mix of gay pop stars and fans of gay pop stars, had been tweeting about him and replying to his posts which I believe is how Yavin first entered my radar. Around that same time his single Good Fun had gone to #1 on the Q Review's weekly chart The Q22 (now The Q32). I then looked up the song and enjoyed it quite a bit but the moment I decided I needed to hear all of Yavin's music was when he dropped a short video that went viral.
In the short clip Yavin is standing in a pose motionless with a goofy smile on his face while everyone behind him dances/moshes aggressively inside a gymnasium. All of a sudden everyone was retweeting the video putting their own snarky captions and summaries on it. Mine for those who are curious was "Me as the only gay guy at every single rock concert I have ever attended!"
At that point I looked up his two albums and gave them a listen and I liked what I heard, especially the second album Growing Up. Growing Up deals with that time in your life during your early 20s when you have graduated from college and now you don't know exactly what you are doing with the rest of your life. You are also coming to grips with the fact that you will start to lose the closeness you had with your friends as you all go on your separate paths in life. I feel like this is something almost everyone can relate too.
For myself personally college was this amazing experience where I came out of the closet and came into my own. I made a bunch of friends, got involved writing reviews for the school paper and hosted my own weekly show on the college's internet radio station called Alternagold. Then I graduated and came home and it felt like I had no direction or social life anymore. It wasn't until I met my husband Cory and moved to DC that I started to have a path forward again. In the meantime I remember watching movies like St Elmo's Fire and Reality Bites which are about a bunch of 20 somethings in the mid 80s (St Elmo's Fire) and mid 90s (Reality Bites) struggling to transition into adulthood and all the responsibilities that it entails.
Yavin's 2019 album Growing Up is basically the music version of those 2 films I just mentioned. Like those movies, Yavin is coming to grips that he is not only getting older but that things are changing for himself and his friends. He doesn't know what's coming next and sometimes he feels unprepared but ultimately he knows that change is a good thing because it's what happens in life and he's willing to embrace it. Growing Up is a concise 28 minute album that holds together well due to it's themes and lyrics about transitioning into adulthood and it was one of the most accomplished albums to come out in 2019 in my opinion.
Around the time I was starting to get into his music, Yavin and I started chatting more and more on social media and connecting over our love for music and how much we also loved this blossoming movement of openly queer pop stars. It was during one of our conversations that Yavin brought up Zach Benson who I had never heard of. Yavin said he became good friends with Zach the year before and he brought him up because Zach was still living in the DC metro area at the time which is where I live as well. So based on Yavin's recommendation I looked Zach up and well you can say the rest is history since my discovery of Zach led to a whole other article I published on this blog last year.
Yet, here was another example of how through the internet, social media and streaming I was able to discover an amazing artist like Yavin, who in turn introduced me to another amazing artist with Zach who I then got to meet and see live. This probably never would have happened just a few years earlier but I'm so glad that it did. This just reinforces yet again why I feel I am living through my golden age for music right now.
Yavin has been working on a lot of new music and we should be hearing it real soon based on the teases he has been giving on social media. In the meantime let's take a look at Yavin's last album Growing Up. I'm gonna rank my top 5 songs off the album because you know I love a good countdown. So with that let the countdown begin!
5. Show You
Show You seems to be about that first time you really fall for someone and get intimate with them. Also knowing that Yavin is gay this song could also be interpreted as describing someone having a gay relationship for the first time.
"Take a step into my mind, feel my rapid pulse.
Figure out all my desires, and the depths of my soul.
This is something new, and I don’t feel afraid
All the feelings that I feel for you, three words can barely say."
Musically I'm feeling a lot of Chillwave here, that sub genre of music that was a continuation of atmospheric Shoegaze but replaced the rock instrumentation with more synths. Show You is drenched in atmosphere from the start and the parts where the song drops out and comes back ups the song's atmosphere even more. I also LOVE the guitar solo at the end which ups the emotional stakes of the songs and feels like the moment Yavin and his lover finally give in to their passion for one another. I love when organic instrumentation juxtaposes with synths which is what happens at the end of Show You.
4. Me
As the title would indicate Me is all about Yavin and how he is taking charge of his own life by focusing on what's best for him. It's clear Yavin is singing about a past relationship that ended up being toxic and he's been a lot happier since he struck out on his own.
"So I should just be crying just because you went away?
Would you rather I be lying since you always did the same?
Oh, so I’m supposed to miss this just because it’s in the past?
Well, you never tried to fix things, that’s probably why it didn’t last.
Now I know that I just had to let you go and I’m better on my own without you.
And now it’s all about me."
Unlike some people, Yavin is not looking at his past relationship through rose colored glasses. He remembers why it ended and why it was necessary to breakup and therefore he has no nostalgia for it.
From a musical standpoint Me has a bit of an RnB/Hip-Hop vibe, especially because of the Rap in the middle by Street Queer. The big hook to the song is when Yavin sings Me over and over again in the way many performers sing it as a vocal warm up. We've all heard it used a million times before but only as a vocal warm up exercise and not really in the context of a pop song like it's used here. It's ear grabbing due to that familiarity but striking and different due to how it's given a different context here. The "Me Me Me Me Me Me Me" is actually used as both the song's main hook and its source of empowerment which gives it an extra kick it would lack otherwise. It's things like this that elevate good songs to great songs.
3. Layers
When I first listened to the album Growing Up in its entirety after really digging Good Fun, this was the song that jumped out first. I really like the production on this one which fittingly enough is very layered with lots of nice textures and production moments. The song deals with how Yavin is a complicated fella but one who is well worth getting to know if you put in the effort.
"Nothing really bothers me but I still have my insecurities.
I fall a little quickly but I never seem to share just how I feel.
I can tell you what I want but never tell you what I truly need.
Meeting me is easy but to truly know me is harder than it seems.
Can you peel back the layers?
I think I’m ready to bare it all.
I’m a little bit of this, and a lot a bit of that
I’m a tough code to crack.
Can you peel back the layers?
If you think that you’re gonna fall
Sometimes I can be a mess, sometimes I can be the best
You better buckle up."
Layers is not quite a ballad but not quite a bop either, it's just very chill and laid back. I also remember talking to Yavin when this song was actually played on the radio on a Boston music station that promotes local talent every week. Yavin was super excited, as he should be! While radio as a format is slowly dying and being replaced by streaming (which we both talked about that night as well) there is still a rush you get as an artist hearing yourself on the radio or as a fan hearing your favorite song on the radio. Radio really did define pop music for almost a full century. Getting air time on radio stations has always been the biggest goal of any artist who hoped to reach a larger audience before the era of streaming. Still I'm glad we have streaming now because otherwise I probably never would have discovered Yavin or most Queer pop period!
2. Responsible
Responsible was a slow burn for me but now it's one of of my favorites by Yavin. Lyrically this song gets to the heart of the album's themes of growing up but not knowing what you're doing with your life. At the start of the song Yavin sings:
"I wake up on the wrong side
I open my eyes, and lose my mind
‘Cause I’ve gotta chase the time
(Chorus)You’d think with all the years that I’ve been around
That maybe I could figure all this out by now
But I don’t know how to be responsible."
There's so much here I'm relating to immediately. When I was about to graduate college I was very nervous and one night when I realized I still didn't know how to put on a tie I felt this wave of anxiety fall over me. If at 22 I still didn't know how to put on a tie, then how the hell was I going to be a functional adult! Adulthood catches up with you sooner than you think and it can really knock you for a loop as a result. The first line though feels more relevant to me now as I struggle with my concussion, especially if I wake up sleeping on the wrong side of my head and set it off. Then I too lose my mind!
The end of the song Yavin lists off a bunch of anxieties that I'm definitely relating to and a lot of others can as well. Sometimes you are your own worst enemy and that's something I've had to come to terms with more recently as well. A lot of it was due to my internalized shame growing up gay and how I would except less or beat myself up before anyone else could.
"No one really knows how I struggle to find
My true potential in this crazy little thing called life
And even though I know I’m capable of making it big
My glass is looking mostly empty, might as well take a swig
Why do I decide to let myself get down in the dirt?
When I know I can’t afford to dirty up my shirt with all the hatred,
Self-deprecating thoughts in my head, that flood my mind from the minute I lay down in my bed
Isn’t that supposed to be the place to find your peace?‘
Cause frankly I don’t know the last time that I had a good dream.
Ha, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll read one of those self-help books or something."
By being more specific about his own struggles Yavin is actually making music that can connect with more people and that more people can relate too as a result. We all have different reasons for our own struggles and anxieties but we all share them just the same anyway.
What I also really like about this song is how it's very bluesy. That guitar riff that introduces the song let's you know this song is a bit more grounded and it feels a bit more Alternative Rock as a result. It's nice to see Yavin trying out different sounds and instruments across the album even if the themes all connect together to create a total and cohesive package.
1. Good Fun
This is the song that introduced me and a lot of people to Yavin and it's easy to hear why. It's a low key bop with a story to tell and heart on the sleeve songwriting like most of the album but it has that certain X Factor that lifts it above the pack. The opening synth line is a big reason why since it grabs you right from the beginning. There's almost an air of mystery to the synth line that makes you want to hear more. In this song Yavin talks about how things are about to change for him and his friendships. Nonetheless Yavin understands that it's also a part of growing up and he accepts that. It's also made easier by the new love in his life when he sings:
"Mistakes as far as the eye can see.I don’t really care where the night could lead.So much in my brain it’s hard to feel.But everything’s better with your hands on me.Uh-oh how’d we end up here?Everything feels so unclear.All my worries disappear with you.
On the count of 1,2,3 kiss all your worries goodbye with me."
Here I feel Yavin sums up the catch to finding your lover. Once you find that right person it makes you grow up and place other things aside as a result. You are no longer the kid you once were and while that makes it uncharted territory it can also be pretty thrilling too. Seeing Yavin "grow up" on this album it's clear he is a pop star with a vision and as a result I'm excited to see where Yavin goes next!
