Sweet Nothings With Kisos
Kisos in my opinion is one of the most integral and influential figures in Queer Pop right now. On top of being a musician himself, Kisos uses his platform to lift up as many people as he can in the Queer music community on a daily basis. I've said this before and I'll say it again, one of the best things about this community is the way everyone supports one another and lifts each other up. There is a sense of comradery to the queer music scene that I feel is unmatched on social media. Yet, even by those lofty standards Kisos manages to go above and beyond most of his peers.
I fiirst discovered Kisos in early 2019. I had joined Twitter just a few months prior and in that time I was already making connections with other queer pop fans and artists. Kisos actually entered my radar because of some controversy that had come to light about Billboard Pride. I won't go into too much details, but there was an editor at Billboard Pride accused of sexual coercion on the platform. Kisos was one of many queer artists raising their voices about this editor's abuse of power.
I started following Kisos on Twitter and soon learned that he was a twitch streamer as well, which introduced me to that platform. Kisos was also someone who always made himself accessible to the queer community on social media and on twitch. So, it didn't take long for me to reach out to him and soon we were chatting a lot. It was around this time that he released the music video for his latest single at the time called Happy Ever After. I really loved the song & video and I proceeded to add it to multiple playlists on Spotify. At the same time I started putting together and launching my own blog. From day 1 Kisos was extremely supportive of me and the blog. He would read every article and give me great feedback every time. He didn't have to do that, but the fact that he took the time to read my articles and comment back made a deep impression on me.
Over the year I would see firsthand how much Kisos was a beacon of light for this community, especially for those that even get overlooked within our own community. Kisos is always going to bat for the entire queer community and trying to get more people to listen to queer women, queer people of color and the trans community. One of the first ways he does this is through his Sequence playlist. I follow a lot of curated playlists for queer music, but Kisos always digs deeper searching for acts who are much more indie and different than the rest of pop music even within the queer community. I know when I listen to the Sequence playlist I'm gonna be exposed to artists I have not heard of before, but could become fast favorites such as Eddie the Kid.
Still 2020 saw Kisos kick things up to an even higher gear. First, he released the second single from his EP with He Didn't Want Me, which was a devastating ballad made all the more emotionally resonate due to how raw and vulnerable Kisos performance on the track was. Then as the EP seemed to be nearing completion the COVID 19 pandemic hit! As we are all well aware everything changed in a heartbeat and everything was pretty much cancelled. In this time of fear & uncertainty Kisos found a way to kick things up a notch.
Just a few weeks into quarantine Kisos came up with the brilliant idea to mix his livestreaming on Twitch with his support for Queer music. It was called The Queerantine and it was to be a showcase of music videos by independent queer musicians. The Queerantine was held on his twitch stream and aired every Sunday afternoon from 3 to 5pm for 15 weeks straight. Kisos would have a special co-host from the queer community every week and everyone else could not only watch the stream but comment in the chat as well. Kisos also made a point to have every show be a true showcase of queer talent from across the LGBTQ+ spectrum. After he received a certain amount of submissions from white cis gay man he held spots open for queer acts of color, women and those who were non binary. As a result the Queerantine became a true celebration of the queer music community at a time when we needed it most.
I for one loved having something to look forward to every week during lockdown, especially at the beginning when I didn't have a routine or schedule in place. This was something to latch onto and also give me hope and a recharge every week. I wasn't alone in thinking this. The Queerantine caught on fast as musicians and fans in the queer community flocked to it in greater numbers each and every week. The Queerantine was special because it felt like a genuine celebration of queer music that lifted everybody up who tuned in. It helped strengthen the bonds of support in a community that already excels at that even more and it was all because of Kisos!
After months of doing the Queerantine Kisos announced its season finale, which in turn came with the announcement that his long-awaited EP was finally finished and coming out. The title was Sweet Nothings and it was a concept EP tracking the five stages of grief after a breakup. Those 5 stages according to Kisos were bargaining, denial, anger, depression and acceptance and the five songs on his EP reflected those stages in that order.
The EP ended up doing better than Kisos expected because he didn't reach out to many music blogs or outlets this time. He just released the EP and was gonna let the chips fall where they may. Still between the Queerantine, his Sequence playlist and his presence on social media in general, Kisos had become one of the most beloved members of the LGBTQ music community. As a result, all his hard work and dedication paid off since it felt like everyone in this community listened to the EP as soon as it dropped and loved it. It was finally Kisos turn to be lifted up and I think he was very taken back but touched by the responses he saw for his EP.
So that finally brings us to the EP in question. Kisos released a few songs before Sweet Nothings, but this EP represents his first full body of work, which is why I'm just gonna focus on the 5 songs from this EP. It's an album that is pretty raw emotionally and production wise. It's much more indie sounding than many of Kisos' peers, but that helps it stand out and in some ways it makes it easier to connect to for certain audiences. Kisos doesn't shy away from letting us know this is a man he broke up with, but the emotions present in each song are easily relatable to anyone who has ever had a difficult breakup.
As always, these rankings are just my opinion and not fact. Also, I do recommend listening to this EP in the proper order the first time you listen to it so you can get the full experience. In less than 18 minutes Sweet Nothings takes you on a journey that can leave you emotionally devastated depending on how recently you had a messy breakup. Alright with that lets jump in!
5. We're Falling
We're Falling is the opening track on the Sweet Nothings EP and it sets the stage for what is to come. This song deals with the bargaining stage of breakups where not all is lost quite yet. One of the partners, in this case Kisos, tries their best to keep the other partner satisfied no matter the cost as long as they stay together. Still it's the moment that Kisos realizes that he might lose his boyfriend since his boyfriend is starting to pull away from him.
"You’re acting so distant
But you say nothing’s wrong
You're looking at the doorway like you’re already gone
But you keep hiding, keep lying
I’m trying to help us face it
Stop thinking that I can’t take it
I’m trying to help us make it."
At this juncture Kisos still believes in their relationship. If they can get past this bump in the road their relationship can blossom to new heights according to Kisos.
"Our love can take us higher (take us higher)
This love will take us higher
Why won't you take me higher (take me higher)
Why can't I take you higher"
The song itself is pretty stripped down but it subtly builds over the course of its run adding piano, strings, flute and backing vocals, which feel very gospel inspired. These additions help make the song more involving as a listener even though they are not drawing to much attention to themselves. Kisos is still front and center the whole time, which is how the rest of the songs on this EP are gonna play out. Sweet Nothings is about Kisos’ struggles during a difficult breakup and all the songs are here to help propel that message forward.
4. I Still Remember
As the 4th song off of Sweet Nothings, I Still Remember represents depression. It's here that Kisos starts to process the idea that the relationship is really and truly dead. He thinks back at the good times & bad times, which only serve to make him more depressed than before. He also sings that even though he has started to move on with someone else he will still mourn the death of this relationship.
"But that don’t mean I love you less
Even though you hurt me
And that don't mean I still don't miss our nights
You laying right beside me
Even though I’m happy now with someone else
I still miss the times when it was just you and I
Do you wish for that life?"
Musically this is probably the most ambitious song on the EP. It starts acoustically before adding this more upbeat sound, which is complemented by a flute. It's an unexpected pivot that ends up making the song even more memorable.
Kisos has also stated that this song started as a 10-minute freestyle stream of conscience where he was truly coming to grips with the end of the relationship and he recorded himself in this raw moment of pain. A snippet of that sneaks in around 3:15 mark where we hear Kisos singing the song where he ends up crying. This is such a brave and vulnerable thing to do on record! Most artists wouldn't share a moment of emotional pain that is as real as this, but that's also what makes this EP all the more compelling.
3. He Didn't Want Me
He Didn't Want Me was released as the second single for the EP before the EP dropped. Compared to Happily Ever After, which had been released as the first single, this one wasn't as catchy, but once again the emotions of the song were disarming. Now having listened to the full EP I actually appreciate this song even more. He Didn't Want Me represents the final stage of grief which is acceptance. Hearing the song in the context of the EP now makes it much more satisfying and heartbreaking. Kisos has finally accepted that he and his boyfriend were never gonna make it in the first place. Kisos starts off the song acknowledging that if his boyfriend had loved him, he would have shown that to Kisos but he never really did.
"If he wanted me, he would’ve told me
If he loved me, he would’ve shown me more
If he wanted me, he would’ve wanted me to be happy
Wouldn’t always have to be asking for a moment of his time."
Kisos goes on to sing that he put way more into the relationship than his boyfriend did. Kisos did everything he could to make this relationship last, but he did so by ignoring the fact that right from the start there were signs indicating this wouldn't last.
"Verse 1:
I forced something that wasn’t there
Ignored the signs you didn’t care
Cuz when you kissed me I believed it
Until you met me at the park
Looked in my eyes blew out the spark
Admitted that you’d never feel it."
Of course these signs are more obvious in retrospect but that's what makes the pain harder. By the end of the song Kisos is sobbing as he sings
"He just didn't want me"
On an EP that is as emotionally resonate as Sweet Nothings, He Didn't Want Me and its sobbing conclusion are the final gut punch. Kisos is ready to move on, but that doesn't mean the pain will go away overnight. This pain is something he will have to carry for a while and just hope that it lessens more and more as time goes on.
2. #Perks
As the 3rd song on Sweet Nothings, #Perks is the centerpiece of the EP. It's fitting because it marks the turning point of this EP's emotional journey since it represents Anger. It's here that Kisos feels resentment, even rage, toward how callously his ex-boyfriend treated him during their relationship. Kisos says he put so much into their relationship, but it was always one sided and his efforts were never appreciated. Instead his ex would find more solace for other men on social media.
"He takes one pic of you and that's "#perks"
Guess the 5000 hours I gave had no worth
A cute guy to make you feel validated
Your first ex lurkin' on your feed salivatin'
You’re hiding from your failure and you’re diving into what’s next
Never taking ownership for killing our relationship."
Kisos later on says that all the great times they had were because of him and his ex-boyfriend never showed any gratitude or even understanding towards Kisos. Kisos then warns his ex-boyfriend that if he is doesn't change his attitude soon he'll find himself losing lots of boyfriends in the future.
"Did you notice all the times that you were overwhelmed?
You took your anger out on me but still I always helped?
I'd make a call and solve it all in a heartbeat
While you were busy complaining that I was distracting
So think back on all your favorite times we had together
How many of them would've happened if it weren't for me
I made plans, I made moves
I made the mistake of staying with a kid who can't say "thank you"
Your new boos gonna see the truth too
If you don't change your attitude soon."
For a lot of people, myself included, this was the immediate standout from Sweet Nothings, because it didn't sound like anything Kisos had ever done before. It's much more aggressive than his more folk/pop inspired songs and it also sees Kisos entering hip-hop territory since he raps throughout the entire song.
Kisos likes to refer to himself as the nicest bad bish on the internet meaning he is so supportive of the queer community, but if he thinks someone is being homophobic, racist, sexiest or a combination of all 3 he will be the first to drag that person on social media. #Perks is his first song to capture this side of Kisos, which is why it connected with so many people who know and follow him on Twitch, YouTube and social media. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are looking forward to some more songs like #Perks from Kisos in the future.
1. Happily Ever After
It's not surprising this ends up at #1, but there's a reason this is the song that made me sit up and take notice of Kisos' music when I first discovered him. As of right now it's his most streamed song and it's easy to hear why. Happily Ever After is packed with emotion like the rest of the EP, but it's a bit more polished than the other songs on Sweet Nothings. There's a real pop sheen to the production on Happily Ever After that makes it his most appealingly accessible song to date.
Lyrically this song captures the denial stage where Kisos believes that after they take short break (Cue Ross & Rachel from Friends) things will get better. In his mind, Kisos believes that since they've managed to uncover their problems as a couple they can try and fix them and be better than before.
"I killed myself for you, you killed yourself for me
Now that we realize what went wrong
Can we move on happily?
Your negativity, my codependency
Now that we realize what went wrong
Can we move on happily?"
Kisos reiterates this feeling during the bridge when he sings
"I gotta figure out all my s*** first
And hopefully you’re doing the same
Once we’ve had our time to recover
I wanna try this with you again"
Still we as the listeners know that it's not meant to be, but there's something enticing about Kisos' denial here that can connect with a lot of listeners. Yes, things have gone bad, but there's still hope here unlike the other songs on this EP and that optimism is something pop audiences are drawn to. This is probably why Happily Ever After is his biggest song to date.
Overall though this is strong body of work that showcases what Kisos is all about, but I think the best is yet to come. Kisos has said with this EP finally done he's ready to move on the greener pastures. He's ready to make more upbeat bops, release more singles, collaborate more and just try a lot of new things in general. I for one cannot wait to hear what comes next from Kisos, but until then you'll find me streaming Sweet Nothings.
